Credit: Creative Commons/Two Wings
Credit: Creative Commons/Two Wings
Pregnant woman longs to sleep with pregnant women

Dear Queer Radical,


I’m a hot, single mom - seven-months into my second pregnancy—and every time I go to my Lamaze class, I can’t stop crushing on all the other sexy preggo ladies around me. I love the contours of their bodies, their maternal strength and the smell of their sweat.


I need to sleep with a fellow pregnant lady. It’s a fact.


I tried to talk to my Mom about it and she freaked out. I talked to my baby’s father and while he understood, he mostly laughed off my desires. My girlfriends call me a pervert and change the subject.


But here’s the question: If I want to hit on preggos, how do I do so without being crass? Can I just go up to a fellow-student and say, “Hey good lookin’, wanna come to my place?”


How do I find a pregnant lady who might want to sleep with me, without freaking out my family and friends? Why can’t they seem to understand and take my desires seriously?


With love,

Pregnant and Promiscuous


Dear Pregnant and Promiscuous,


Kudos. You deserve a medal for expressing socially uncouth desires. Your longing bridges the chasm between two stereotypes that patriarchs have used to control women for centuries: the Madonna and the whore—the sacred and the slutty. And chances are, you are not alone—there are other pregnant women longing to sleep with pregnant women.


How do you find them? Well, asking each of the ladies at your Lamaze class if they want to get it on probably isn’t your best bet. While I’d normally say, “be blunt; it can’t hurt,” the reality is that context is queen. There are certain places where romantic advances are utterly inappropriate—spaces designed for safe, sexless dialogue: therapy, medical interactions and probably Lamaze Class.


The classroom limitations don’t stop you from making friends outside of class and having those friendships go where they may.


Befriend the ladies of Lamaze and the other pregnant people you know. Are any of them single? In open relationships? Into women, too? If so, invite them out. Become friends.


While you are socializing, don’t be afraid to bring up your desires. Express what you want in general—don’t hit on them specifically. If they seem to be into a similar thing, allow one thing to lead to another—eventually be blunt: “Do you want to sleep with me?”


Regarding the judgment of your friends and family, they have been taught to assume pregnant women have no sexual desires, nor are desirable. Clearly, as your own desires indicate, those you love are wrong.


I have no bulletproof strategies to protect you from their judgment. Family and friends don’t come automatically equipped to accept every desire a person has. If you feel the need to explain your desires to them, do so delicately, with understanding that they may not be ready to hear what you’re into.


I wish you the best of luck in your pregnancy and your erotic adventures.


Queer Radical


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